I just won't. I can keep trying, and I WILL keep trying, but I'm pretty doubtful that it'll ever happen. See, I can't be consistent for more than a week. I get hungry, I get depressed I can't eat what I want or when I want or especially how much I want. I eat good foods, I eat bad foods. I eat too much food. I stress eat, I happy eat, I bored eat, eat eat eat. OK I'm starting to sound like Dr Suess's Feet Book....
Anyway. For another 3 months, I can't exercise either. See, Ben and I both sleep in the living room. That's right, the living room. Him on the mattress on the floor, me on the couch, cause the mattress hurts my back. Why? Cause I'm FAT!! But will that keep me from eating too much?? NO. But I digress.... So there's no room for me to exercise. Its WAAAAY too cold to walk outside. As soon as it hit below 50 in the mornings, my walks had to stop, I kept getting sick. But if I didn't walk, I didn't get sick.. Hmmm didn't take too long to figure that out.
When we move May 1st (OH what a glorious day that will be!) I can start exercising again, cause we will have our own room and a new mattress and I'll have the living room to myself at 5am. That will be better, even though I still won't likely be able to stop eating (really wish I could just quit it like I did smoking), it will help cause I'll be moving, my body will be more healthy just by moving. I'll be able to move easier, breathe easier, sleep easier, think easier, just by exercising in the morning. Oh Jillian, how I miss you....
But the weight still won't come off. I just can't be consistent. I can't convince myself to change, permanently. But I will keep trying. I can't just give up, that's not like me.
Sarah-Irene
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